


How to Keep a Genius in Suspense

by Kimyomo



Category: Criminal Minds (US TV)
Genre: Found a joke online and got this idea so, I mean he technically got it right, Messing with reid, bamboozled, but they love teasing him more, he is McStruggling, he is very much oblivious to it, they love him and all, whoops, youre doing best sweetie
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-03-28
Updated: 2019-03-28
Packaged: 2019-12-26 00:20:44
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,029
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18272021
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kimyomo/pseuds/Kimyomo
Summary: The team has finally found a question that the resident genius can't answer. Reid debates over it for a HOT minute before he realizes.





	How to Keep a Genius in Suspense

**Author's Note:**

> I found this joke online and really wanted to write something based on it. Not quite sure who came up with the joke but credit to them.

   The BAU was in hysterics. Well, except for one Dr. Spencer Reid. He was just confused. You see, it all began three days, two hours, fifty-six minutes, and thirteen seconds ago. Morgan walked over to Reid's desk, dearly hoping that his plan worked. (Spoiler alert: it would.)

"Hey, Pretty Boy, I've got a question for you."

Everyone in the room subtly turned their attention towards the conversation. These were the code words, and no one wanted to miss this.

"What is it, Morgan?"

Morgan smiled, but on the inside he was  ~~panicking~~ calmly wondering if Reid would fall for his _"innocent question."_

"How do you keep a genius in suspense?"

Reid tilted his head to the side, his eyes getting that _look_ that they so often did when he was thinking. No one was being subtle at all anymore, but they figured that Reid was too lost in his head to notice. 

"Well, if we're talking about sexual relations-"

Morgan choked on his own tongue. He never would've thought the kid would say _that._

_No,_ kid, I don't mean sex. I'm talking about, y'know, regular suspense."

Reid's mouth formed a little 'o' in understanding. "Ah. Well then..... I suppose well writen fiction would work."

The team were exchanging glances. They knew what was coming next.

"I guess so, but what about in real life?"

Reid tilted his head again. He had no idea, other than what he'd already said, and those didn't count. "I'm not, sure. Is this for a case? Because I don't remember seeing a genius looking for suspense in the files."

The people in the room smirked at one another. It was working.

"Nah, just a personal question. You don't have to worry about it if you don't know." After saying that, Morgan left. Everyone knew that Reid would _absolutely_ worry about it, they just hoped he wouldn't realize what the joke was. As Morgan sat down, he looked at the kid. Reid has his head resting on his interjoined hands, his eyes clouded over. The seed had been planted.

* * *

   Dr. Spencer Reid had a bit of a dilemma. He'd been asked a question, and he wanted to answer it. _Badly._ The thing was, he didn't know. So he would find the (hopefully correct) answer via deductive reasoning. 

_What kind of genius did Morgan mean?_

Well, he didn't specify, and he said it wasn't for a case, so it's safe to assume that he meant anyone with more than roughly 140 IQ points. Okay, then, he would read up on how geniuses' thought processes worked. Ironic, since he himself was one. After he finished reading books of that category, he would study the different types of suspense. That should prove to be quite useful. After he was done with _that,_ maybe he would look up some studies on this particular category. He was sure there was _at least_  one. He couldn't be the only one curious (well, aside from Morgan).

* * *

 

   It had been a day, and he was still completely and utterly stumped. He'd reached a couple of conclusions, but then realized that they were all about literary suspense and that didn't count. He told Morgan as such when he asked how his answer was coming. That was a bit odd, since Reid remembered his friend telling him not to worry about it.

There were no cases, so all he had to do was paperwork and that was finished rather quickly, even with Morgan slipping papers into his stack. Morgan really needed to work on his stealth.

* * *

 

   It was day two, right before Reid planned on going to sleep, and he felt like he was on to something. Garcia asked how the answer was coming, and he told her the very same thing. Morgan must have asked her the question too before he told her that Reid was working on it. Personally, he thought that Garcia had a much higher chance of finding the answer than him. He'd read through all he books in the local library he could find about brain functions, and saw something Eiron would enjoy. Sometimes, someone incredibly intelligent would miss something that someone much less smart could detect in half a second.

He hoped that it would never happen to him.

* * *

 

   He was riding the metro to work, thinking about Morgan's question again, when he thought of an answer that wasn't inappropriate _and_ didn't involve literary works. Reid's face gained a giddy smile. He couldn't wait to tell Morgan and Garcia so that this whole thing could be put to rest.

* * *

   Reid walked to Morgan's desk, a triumphant smile on his face. Morgan looked up along with everyone else in the room curiously. A brief thought that _this should be good_ ran through his head.

"Morgan, I've found the answer!"

Morgan smirked. He knew exactly what Reid was talking about. "What are you talking about?"

"Your question three days ago. You asked Garcia as well—" _What? I never asked my baby girl,_ Morgan thought— "and I think I've found the answer. To keep a genius in suspense, you ask an impossible question, one with no answer."

Derek Morgan is proud to say that he lasted an entire three seconds of blank staring on his eng before he lost his crap. The entire room followed suit. Needless to say, Reid was very confused. Seeing this, Garcia — the angel — strutted over to explain.

"Junior G Man, honey, the question was a joke."

Reid's eyebrows lowered and pushed together in confusion. "What?"

Garcia laughed a bit before answering. Morgan was still cackling in the background. "My chocolate Adonis only asked that to confuse you, sweetums. You know, because _you're_ a genius?"

As Morgan slowly calmed down, panting for his lost breath, they could see Reid's world realigning, his brain computing this sudden change. No one could be sure, but they swore they could hear a _so the book was right_  before Reid spoke again.

"Ah. I see. I'm going to go do some paper work."

As he sat down to get started on pet more thought ran through the genius's mind.

_At least I was right.... at the price of my dignity but still._

**Author's Note:**

> Comments are very much appreciated, please tell me if you see any errors!


End file.
